Arkansas by Chiara Tagliaferri
The following text is a letter I wrote directly to Lula Lagioia Tagliaferri after reading the story that led her parents, Chiara Tagliaferri and Nicola Lagioia — both highly respected and award-winning Italian writers — to become parents by navigating the difficult path faced by those who undertake GPA (gravidanza per altri/ surrogacy), a practice that Italian law defined as a universal crime in 2024.
Arkansas, The Story of My Daughter is Chiara Tagliaferri’s second novel, and it is a story of courage, hope, disillusionment, silent pain, and immeasurable joy.
For those unfamiliar with the subject, surrogacy is made possible through an orchestra of different elements, all essential: the sperm donor, the egg donor, and the woman who carries and nurtures the pregnancy.
Tagliaferri firmly states that criminalizing surrogacy does not help regulate it, just as criminalizing abortion did not before its legalization.
I encourage everyone to read this honest and heartfelt book, which deeply moves the reader and truly allows empathy with every person involved in such a delicate and profound process.
In a country internationally known for its attachment to the concept of the traditional family, I hope that Arkansas may become an important step toward openness and a reconsideration of the law.
After reading the final word of Arkansas, I immediately felt the need to write directly to Lula, named after the David Lynch strong character in Wild at heart.
Dear Lula,
This is a letter I am writing to you now, knowing that you will only be able to read it in a few years; in the meantime, your loved ones will read it for you.
Your mother and father crossed every boundary — geographical, temporal, emotional, legal, and financial — in order to reach you.
Their lives, already full of art, culture, love, and success, were missing a light that finally filled their souls with your arrival.
Many people would have protected their long-awaited family from the law and from public exposure, but your mother — who shared so much with another extraordinary woman, Michela Murgia — understands that your family’s experience represents the experience of many people who have no voice.
More than once in the book, your mother says she is not a courageous woman, but do not believe her.
She chose to give voice to everyone who has endured this endless and frustrating journey, this carousel of terror, hope, and disillusionment. Because, as she writes in the book: “the personal is always political.”
I read Arkansas in five hours; I devoured it the very day it was released in bookstores.
I cried and smiled for you, for Lunedì; I held my breath and carried a lump in my throat throughout.
This book is an important and honest testimony that deserves to become a manifesto of love and recognition for many people: family is not only blood or genes, but the people who grow together, choose one another, and build community together. Chiara writes, “it took an alliance of women to create Lula.”
I have been Orlando’s mother for five years and Olympia’s mother for two.
I was one of those mothers who experienced an easy pregnancy, almost immediate, and I have always felt grateful and aware of the privilege of my condition. After reading Arkansas, I felt my gratitude for my great fortune grow even stronger, along with immense admiration for the women who choose to undertake such a journey — both those who carry life and those who welcome it. I also deeply admire the men who walk beside their partners through this leap into the unknown in search of light.
I was raised by three people: my mother, my father — who separated when I was very young — and my mother’s second husband, who in recent years officially adopted me and my sister.
Beyond them, we were also raised through the constant presence and love of my mother’s sister and her husband, our aunt and uncle Susi and Mario, as well as by my maternal grandparents, whose example of love and unity inspired all of us.
Mine was never a traditional family, but thanks to the respect every member had for one another, and thanks to the immense love that every single person poured into us, my sister and I grew up in a wonderful environment, filled with serenity, mutual listening, and freedom.
Every family — whether it is homosexual, made up of grandparents and grandchildren, or parents not connected by blood — should be recognized by both law and society as a manifestation of love.
Dear Lula, we are all happy and deeply moved by your great adventure, and I stand beside your mother and father, two courageous parents.
Orlando and Olympia cannot wait to meet you.
With love
Antonella
Chiara Tagliaferri is an Italian writer, author, and podcaster known for her work on literature, feminism, and contemporary culture. She co-created the acclaimed podcast Morgana together with Michela Murgia, later adapted into a bestselling book series. She has written essays and novels exploring identity, womanhood, and family narratives.
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